| Children thrive on positive reinforcement, strokes that lift, encourage, sustain, and feed their development. After all, they are sacred to God, created in his image, and dearly loved and protected by him, their heavenly Father. This certainty establishes their identity in secure places.
This article is about children who do not know positive reinforcement. They have lived in the absence of such love and esteem. They have been denied the nurture that affirms their dignity and worth.
These children are found in places that are out of the way to most of us, but the number sequestered in these habitations are in the millions. Because they are deprived of many basic needs, they hover in dark and remote places, unseen or unnoticed by the larger public.
Some live on the streets, displaying a resiliency and inventiveness beyond what most of us utilize. They know how to live, eat, and sleep, but amid shabby floors and shaky walls. Others are disabled, either physically or mentally. They can be found in institutions or parked in front of the TV in their homes. Still others are by-products of wars. Their families have been killed or displaced, so they find whatever and whoever will take them in. They may be in refugee camps or places of temporary refuge or just looking for shelter.
What gets reinforced is rejection. Sadly, they learn to accept the verdict that is passed down: they don’t count. For some it brings a crushed will, for others anger, for most fear—fear of exploitation, of violence, and of abuse.
Their most significant deprivation is their childhood. They have no sense of belonging, of games and fun, of an identity in a healthy community. With the absence of socialization, they also miss education. I remember meeting a family of refugees in Athens who had left their homeland three years earlier. The children of the family were normal, healthy, bright kids, but they had not seen a classroom, a playground, a cafeteria in those three years. How do they make that up?
All of them live in a stinking environment. Evil seeds sprout and take over. The threat of exploitation looms large. And no wonder. Where is the protection, the law officials, the watchful eyes of neighbors who can deter and warn? Nowhere. The situations play out ominously in the forms of sexual abuse, trafficking, slavery, and child labor. Each of these has evil predators cruising the streets and habitations to lure the susceptible.
Thankfully, oases of hope and God’s mercy abound. A famous episode from a children’s show carries the foundational reinforcement: “I am somebody”:
https://www.youtube.com/?v=tu0lNcrZjG8
When this conviction fills the vision of the world, things change. Here is a sampling of these oases, ones that my wife and I have been privileged to know of or know well.
The ministry of Street Children United (https://www.streetchildunited.org) centers around sport to build their awareness of worth and value. Some of these street kids in India rose to challenge the official neglect of them. The laws there had denied registration for all street children. This denial prevented them from access to health, from recognized marriage and burial, and from opportunities for education. Street children leaders forced the upheaval of this injustice and brought about laws that affirmed their state identity. They knew they were somebody.
Children with disabilities can face rejection at birth by being abandoned to die. Those who live face abject refusal in families and in society to grant them respect and worth. Asha Kiran is a Christian school for disabled children in Bangalore. (http://ashakiran.net) In fact, it is recognized as one of the best special needs schools in all of India. Happiness and excitement exude as soon as the kids get off the bus. Whatever love they miss at their homes is abundantly replaced by the staff and friends who greet them. They gather for worship with a short lesson and the Lord’s Prayer, which is said with gusto. Through games and exercises, with patience and understanding of the staff, the children laugh and play as they learn skills and enjoy friendships.
Some children are actually forced out of their homes. This can be by poverty or just because they are unwanted. Incredible but true. Help comes to them one at a time, and best with a network of various kinds of aid. The orphanage of New Hope for Peru (https://newhopeperu.org) has open doors for the abandoned, the abused, and the disabled. It is intended to be a temporary home in transition to permanent homes for the children. Relying on the support and prayers of friends, and the favor of the government agencies, New Hope speaks love, worth, and comfort to their children.
An innate characteristic of children is unconditional acceptance. Color, race, tribe, politics and all other segments of the world mean nothing to them—until, that is, they are taught to differentiate. That is why a school situated in the war zone in the Middle East has children of Kurds as well as children of those who fight against Kurds. Together, they are getting an education not available in their villages, while also developing friendships some would say ought not to happen. But they are learning to know the God and Father of Jesus Christ, himself a child born in that area.
In closing, our two questions:
What can we offer them? Pushing beyond the news reports to bring into our vision the implications for children. That would be in Tigray, the streets of Beirut, the disabled of Delhi.
What can we learn from them? The foundation of our worth and value. The children of New Hope and Asha Kiran have nothing materially, but they do have a core at their center that keeps bubbling up hope and a smile. |
